


Hey, I just stole your man (I think)

by Mixhu



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 100 percent guarantee, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I suck at updating, Infidelity, M/M, Mpreg, Open Ending, YouTuber Byun Baekhyun, but not everything so thats something, but tbfh, i failed though, im always gonna have a conversation via tags and no one can stop me, im trying so dont bully me, im trying to sound cryptic okay? sue me, it's not working out though, might be open ended, most likely, well i guess they're trigger warning so i guess i have to, won't tags just ruin the meaning of this book?, writing style heavily inspired by this book name is secret, yeah it is, you can easily tell whats gonna happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-02-09 13:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18638815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixhu/pseuds/Mixhu
Summary: Where Youtuber!Baekhyun tells his viewers to send him numbers of their friend and said friends boyfriend's name all was fun and games until he reached Lu Han's number.





	1. Stop

Stop

 

Now

 

Go away

 

immediately 

.

.

.

.

You're still here?

Hm

Odd 

Well, Might as well introduce myself.

I'm the annoying author that's going to be leading through your journey here in this very fanfiction.

You might be thinking What? and Why?

I can't just tell you what this book is about exactly you read the tags you won't be here if you weren't

well, it would've been better.

This book may cause you to question everything and anything you know about love. You may get mad but I ask of you save that anger for somewhere in here that deserves your anger.

You may throw the device that you're reading this on at your wall but that wouldn't be too convenient, will it? It may break the screen and perhaps harm your phone and you wouldn't be able to read this, think about the consequences beforehand

Something I should've thought before I decided before posting this. 

This story is a book you should've skipped.

Now you're wondering what it's about and what's going to happen. You plead to let you know, you bribe me to tell you, it can be successful. My self-control is very weak

So you've decided to keep reading huh?

Well, Don't say I didn't warn you.

It's your fault, not mine.

Good luck.


	2. The end (He wished)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Mess Begins.  
> Not proofread lmao

_Click._ The camera chimes when Baekhyun pressed the record button, almost instantly he starts the video with his usual greeting. 

"What's good Sunnies it's ya boy Baekkie with another video." He clasped his hands as he practically beamed at the camera. He could see his reflection in the viewfinder of his camera in the corner of his eye and he was seeing if there were any imperfections on his face. This was the third time recording his intro and he usually stopped it for petty things like how he thinks his hair was a bit out of place or how his sleeves looked a bit  _too_ wrinkly. He was just stalling really, the thought of making this video was enough to make him shit his pants but his dear Sunnies needed the content, and _oh boy_ was content he going to give.

Deeming himself presentable he looked dead at the camera while smiling that boxy smile of his. 

"You guys know what's good and by the title of this video you know what's about to happen," Baekhyun grinned at the camera albeit he looked a little frightened, just a bit.

"When I was thinking about what to do in this weeks video I suddenly had the big urge to ruin some relationships since yours truly doesn't have a love life to begin with so my genius ass thought that, yes, possibly ruining someone's life  _was_ what I was going to do and that is how we all ended up in this mess," Baekhyun then went up closer to the camera and whispered, "If I'm going you guys are going down with me."

Our said corgi boy gave out a cute little giggle and plopped back down on his couch.

"Last week I asked you guys to DM me some of your friend's numbers along with said friends boyfriends name and that is exactly what we'll be doing right now. Honestly, I'm shitting myself as we speak, I'm deadass just stalling so I won't be able to call them as soon as I should." He grinned bashfully at the camera.

"And the amount of messages you guys sent me was unbelievable!" He said opening his eyes wide, "You guys sent me a shit ton of messages. A plethora even!" Our blonde boy said spreading his arms wide open and laughing.

He picked up his phone that was laying face down on the pristine coffee table. He grabbed a hold of his phone and started playing with his corgi phone case. Now that he was thinking about this a little bit more closely this suddenly seemed like a  _really_ bad idea but he already recorded the intro, it's far too late now buddies.

"Now let's clear something up here bitches, I'm going to call every single one of these people back once I'm done with the video to clarify that this was a dumb little prank and that these peoples boyfriend isn't cheating on them, well if they are then they're not cheating on them with me but you never know," he explained calmly even though he was dreading every single second of this.

 "Alright now kids, let's stop stalling and get down to ruining peoples lives." He then picked up the phone and selected a random message.

"Alright sunnies our first victim is named Jenna and her boyfriend's name is Byron." He dialed the phone number fairly quickly and started thinking about the shit he could say, so he decided to go to a more, how can I say this, ah, yes, a more  _eventful_ approach.

 _"Hello?"_ Jenna said sounding fairly confused.

Baekhyun huffed into the phone trying to sound pissed the fuck off, "Is this Jenna?" The blondette spits.

 _"U-Uh yes? Who's this?"_ The other end stuttered clearly confused because who the hell is calling her a 2 pm on a fucking _Tuesday_.

Baekhyun debated whether he should reveal his true name or not but he just said fuck it and used it.

"Oh! Now you're so fucking interested in who I am!" Baekhyun tries his absolute best to not stutter or sound remotely scared because the person who sent this number sent him a picture of this girl and girly looks like she can chokeslam him before he could say "suck my monkey dick".

 _"Sorry? Who the fuck is this and why are you calling me?!"_ Jenna sounded like she was getting mad and Baekhyun was gonna fucking bolt to the door any god damn second but his mom raised no pussy.

"Byun fucking Baekhyun  _bitch_ ," the blond hissed looking at the camera, pleading for someone to come and help him.

_"Okay and I'm supposed to fucking know who you fucking are!"_

"You'd  _think_  Byron would've told you about me huh?!"

_"What the fuck!? Why are you bringing my boyfriend in this?"_

" _My_ boyfriend! Oh, girly you really think he's  _your_ boyfriend. The fucking  _nerve of you_ he cheated on me with you! You're the side piece here!"

 _"What the fuck do you_ mean _'sidepiece'!"_

"DID I FUCKING STUTTER BITCH! Byron and I have been dating for two god damn _years_ and now I find out he's been cheating on me with you. Like what the fuck is your problem claiming a  _taken_ man."

 _"Byron would_ never _cheat on me_ you're _the whore here!"_

Baekhyun started sweating a little, shit was getting pretty fucking heated but well it was kind of  _fun_ , to say the least. But you didn't hear it from me.

"Whore!? Just stay the fuck away from Byron. He's  _mine_ and mine  _only._ "

_"Turn on your fucking location bitch. I'll beat you up."_

"No way in fucking hell I don't do that childish shit. Girl Bye."

He hung up the phone in fucking light speed. And stared at the camera for a few seconds and burst out into laughter. He inhaled a few time and stared at the viewfinder in bewilderment.

"That. Shit. Was. So. Fun." He breathed, "Okay sunnies let's do another one! This coupe is Hannah and her boyfriend Terry!"

It was wild, Baekhyun made up all sorts of stories like he was pregnant with someone's baby or how he left his stocking in their house. There were different reactions like some of them were violent, some of them were spiteful, but some girls got emotional and that's when he immediately told them it was just for a youtube video.

Ah yes, my friends, this  _is_ where the story is starting to actually have a plot. When out poor video making sunflower meets his, well, you know I can't really say  _that_ it'd give it away in seconds so we'll just use the word future. Ah yes, I like the sound of that let's try again, shall we?

Ah yes, my friends, this  _is_  where the story is starting to actually have a plot. When our poor video making sunflower meets his  _future,_  to say the least. Now, now let's not get too ahead of ourselves now this is only the beginning and you should your frustrations to a part in the book which actually requires for you to be angry.

Well let's let the story unfold now, shall we?

"Okay! We have a new number and this is sadly the last number of today. Okay, this is Luhan and his boyfriend Chanyeol!"

The phone ringed for a bit, Baekhyun thought the other end wouldn't pick up and that's what he ____ and if it had then maybe things wouldn't have taken a turn __ __. What he thought as fate one day turned out to be his ___ ___.

I know what you're saying what's with the '__' well we can't reveal it now, now can we? That'd ruin the whole book and that's not something we want I want you to keep you on the edge of your seats. I want to really real you in because you might be saying 'wow what's up with her doing all of this it makes no sense, what a nutjob' but there my friend is where I have succeeded it's so odd that you'll read to see if you can decipher the blocked out words.

Now we mustn't hold the chapter as it is close to finishing. Quite.

"Hello? Is this Luhan?"

Now readers I truly welcome you to the chaos that will be this fanfiction. A fanfiction like no other I hope.

Welcome to the story of Byun Baekhyun and __ __.

Maybe I'll decipher them at the end of this story. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this a completely different writing style I'm taking on thank you for joining me on this adventure.


	3. This was never meant to be seen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> analización es clave mijos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u h i tried kids

"Hello? Is this Luhan" Baekhyun asks making his voice sounds as raw as he possibly could make it. 

But Baekhyun didn't hear anything, like at all. He was thinking of just hanging and ending the video there and he was about. Oh, he was so close,  _so_ close.

But fate is a cruel thing you see, it doesn't take mercy on anyone. No matter how much you beg, how much you cry or please it'll do whatever it pleases at any given time. This is why no matter how someone may look at fate as something out of a storybook, like a knight in shining armor that can lead you straight to your future, fate can also be wicked. 

You see secrets are also cruel which is why fate comes into play, I'm not very good with keeping things hidden, the excitement that I get for potentially revealing something I wasn't since I swore myself that everything would be kept secret and no more, but then the readers get so, so  _excited_ since they think that they could potentially solve it. I can't contain myself. Me revealing what I'm not supposed to be revealing is fate's way of telling me that secrets are simply present in this line of the world. Nothing less and certainly nothing more.

Take this both ways 

But then he heard a hum, a very deep hum at that but he beamed at the camera and sighed exaggeratedly.

"O-oh I'm so sorry to interrupt but I really need to speak to you. Urgently if you could just spare some of your time. God please." The blonde heaved a fake sob but was only met with a questioning hum. He deemed it worthy enough to move on, so that's exactly what he did.

"It's about your boyfriend, Chanyeol," Baekhyun said very dramatically as if someone told him that his favorite drama discontinued, "Look, we, Chanyeol and I. Well we did some uh- mistakes last night."

He __ __ _ __ __ __ __ but we'll get to that later on.

There was no hum this time, but he continued on anyway, smiling at the camera while kicking his legs up in the air. So young and very youthful. Such a shame.

"Look I didn't even know he had a boyfriend in the first place."

__ _ __ __, sadly.

"I-I would've stopped immediately. I swear! But you know one can only hold on for so long and under those circumstances. Y-you can understand me right?! A-anyways I seem to forget a key detail, I-I'm a carrier." Baekhyun then pulls a few fake sobs out of his ass but the other line seems eerily  _quiet._

He looks at the phone screen to see if he accidentally hung up but the call was still on so he just proceeded to talk.

"Oh god I'm so sorry but I- well I'm pregnant." Baekhyun could hear a surprised hum from the other line, excited he kept blabbering on.

That did always seem to be a problem, wasn't it?

"I know what you're thinking, that it could be anyone else but I swear he's the only person I've had sex with. I promise! L-Listen Chanyeol's dick was amazing but not to the point of me having to take care of a child! I just want him to pay for the child support and I'll get out of your guys' hair immediately. You won't hear from me _again!_ "  

Silence

That was all the short man heard.

He huffed a little and pouted at the camera a little pissy at the fact that he put on a great show to just be blatantly ignored.

It was quite insulting actually.

" _First of all, I do have a nice dick thank you very much and second of all I'm paying for no fucking child support,_ " a very low voice said on the other end of the line.

Baekhyun took a while to process what the fuck even  _happened_

1

2

3

It was three seconds of pin drop silence before the blonde starts screaming while laughing quite loudly to the other end. He looked at the camera with actual  _tears_ in his eyes. Well, this  _certainly_ was not expected. 

 _"Hello? Bro? You good?"_ The other person on the other end of the line, Chanyeol, sounded quite concerned but Baekhyun. Our boy Baekhyun was on the floor at this point he held onto his ribs since he couldn't even breathe properly. There were many ending n which the boyfriend was included, but the boyfriend  _picking up the godforsaken phone_ was not one of them.

Baekhyun couldn't even form words properly even if he tried to.

"Oh fuck oh my god." Guffaw, "Bitch I'm so sorry I didn't," Wheeze, "I didn't fucking knew it was you oh my fucking god I-I can't  _breathe._ "

_"Well obviously."_

"Well don't get pissy with me bitch."

_"You're the one who called me mind you."_

"Wait. This isn't Luhan's phone?"

_"Nope, this is Park Chanyeol speaking with his mobile phone."_

Baekhyun looked at the camera and muted the call for a quick second.

"Whoever the fuck beaned the living shit out of me. Honestly kudos to you." The blondette smiles into the camera showing off his boxy grin.

He unmuted the call and started telling Chanyeol about how this is for his youtube video and that he suddenly wanted to ruin relationships since he himself is single and is a bitter 23 year old with a dog. 

 _"Aw! You have a puppy!"_ Chanyeol exclaimed

"Mongryong is perfectly capable to take care of himself he is a full-fledged adult just like me thank you very much!" The blonde huffed while putting his air in the nose while a bark of acknowledgment was heard.

_"Just like you, you say?"_

"Yes indeed!"

_"I find trouble in believing that."_

"Hmph!"

Baelhyun heard a deep chuckle from the other line followed by a  _"Hey don't you have a video to wrap up?"_

"OH shit you right!" The cute boy looks at the camera with that bedazzling smile of his and suddenly says, "Well then Luhan's boyfriend Chanyeol that does not have to pay for child support. Do you want to say goodbye to my viewers?"

_"I'd love to. Bye, everyone! And tell this guy that maybe this is the reason why no one dates him!"_

"Hey! Well. Okay, that may not be that far off from the truth but oh well. Bye Luhan's boyfriend Chanyeol!"

_"Bye!"_

And just like that Baekhyun ended the video. And another chapter. But then started a new one, an interesting chapter which is how this was all created. A secret if you must.

Interesting. Interesting indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh how __ indeed.


	4. The beginning of his end (not his)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted the draft for this chapter and I'm beyond pissed

He reached out for the camera and saved the video just in case it deleted. (unlike  _me_ ) He fell back onto the couch and noticed that something was different. He then noticed after a short while. 

He was  _smiling_. He felt genuinely  _pleased_ with the video he just recorded. It may sound odd about how this could make the small male happy, but Baekhyun never really feels pleased with the content he puts out on the internet. 

Now don't get him wrong he loves his job, it's his passion. But he hardly does his own content anymore, he mostly hops on random bandwagons to get more views. It may sound terrible but original content and him feeling pleased with his work is not going to pay his bills. It's a game of chance in the Youtube community and some get luckier than others.

It's a brutal world out there.

Sometimes Baekhyun comes up with his own ideas (if he's feeling brave enough that is, it's not very common) and people hop onto  _his_ bandwagon. It's a great feeling.

But sometimes it backfires and it's  _him_ suffering from the consequences.

Now don't point your finger at him like he's the bad guy for not putting his full potential out there because his fans deserve the 'real' Byun Baekhyun. He needs the money for the fancy apartment he has because god  _forbid_ him living in a regular apartment without the fancy decorations and the fancy neighbors, with the fucking fancy supermarket that sells overpriced  _fucking_ apples just because the region his city is in is  _way_ better than anyone else's region. He's a beauty Youtuber for gods' sake he absolutely  _needs_ to live up to everyone's expectations for a fancy beauty-guru that lives in a fancy apartment and lives off of making terrible content just to pay this months rent 

And people must be asking well why can't get a job? Simple really. There aren't many places where they accept college dropouts since this perfect  _fucking_ city needs to live up on  _everyone's expectations._

It's a fucking  _miracle_ that he even decided to do his  _own_ video that has his  _own_ original idea because he knows that if he fails he won't be able to eat this fucking week because the water bill is more important. 

So him feeling even the  _slightest bit_ pleased of his own video is amazing. He sighs and puts his head into his hands thinking of the consequences this can potentially put him in. But at this point, he doesn't really seem to care.

After a minute or two, he really couldn't be arsed about the time, he stood up to get a cup of water and when he got there he saw all his bills piled up on his dining table.

He felt sick. 

Maybe his parents were right. He should put down the fucking camera and get a god damn jo. A  _real_ job.

Right at that moment, he heard his phone ring. Abandoning the cup of water he briskly walked away from the kitchen so that the bills wouldn't see him and he wouldn't see them.  

He picked up his expensive phone and saw that his best friend, Kyungsoo, texted him.

**_From: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_Come to the café_ _today_

**_To: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_I dont wanna._

**_From: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_I'm sorry did that sound like a question_

**_To: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_No sir_

**_From: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_Mhm I made your favorite red velvet cake so come quick before Jongdae fucking vores it_

**_To: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_Okay~ 'm coming!_ **  
**

**_From: Kyungie-ah~_ **

_Say that again and I'll actually eat your elbows_

Turning off the phone with a light giggle Baekhyun grabs his wallet and keys along with his phone and heads out.

Jongdae, Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun were friends since they were practically in the womb (not  _literally_ but you get what I mean) so they obviously mean a lot to him.

He's heading off onto cafe Ex-0 which just so happens to be Kyungsoo's since the boy wanted to be a baker ever since he touched a whisk. 

It has quite a lot of recognition for the amazing pastries and the coffee as well as the aesthetic decor of the place. His said owl friend has offered him a part-time job there for a long time but Baekhyun wants to seem independent and strong so he refuses even if he needs that money.

He doesn't want to seem weak. Ever. Since his parents disowned him for making videos and not being a successful businessman like his brother.

Oops, seems like I let something slip. 

My apologies.

On with the story.

On second thought no.

I seem to not want to let you know what happens next.

I changed my mind.

I  _don't_ want to let you know what happens.

It's too dangerous.

Bye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the updates are going to be really late but I've been studying for finals and I just stopped doing the state tests and I'm working on a project for school so the stress game is going hard. I enjoy writing this.
> 
> and yes i am still beyond pissed off that I deleted this chapter on accident


	5. New Notification.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fine, you win. I did tell you that I had very weak self-control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on my way to San Francisco and we got hours to go so I thought why not.

Oh?

Do you want to read what happened?

What's going on with Baekhyun?

His parents disowned him. Yes, I did tell you why they did what they did.

I just can't seem to get my mouth shut.

Alright

You can understand me right?

Why  don't want t continue writing

Please tell me you do.

Go read something else please I beg you.

You don't want to read something else?

Well if that's the case.

Alright then, let's continue on with the story.

++

The blondette shook his head as his parents came into mind. 

God, he hates them.

Well, no, not exactly.

He lived with them for 18 years dammit he can't just throw all of that away. All of his birthday parties, all the family game nights, when he would go up to his brother and tell him about the nightmares so he could make the nights a little bit more bearable. He can't just shove them down the drain and say he hates them because they disowned.

He can't and he won't. No matter how much it pains him to think of the people he looks up to deem him not worthy of being their son.

He hates the fact that they can just push him away and say right into his sobbing face.

"We have two kids anyways, one less just means less money to spend."

He felt like crying, but he couldn't. He's too strong to cry. He'd seem weak. And he's  _tired_ of feeling weak.

Baekhyun slammed the door behind him and went on his way. He was going to see his friends anyway.

They won't see his vulnerable side. No, not again.

++

While walking to his friends café shop, (yes he does have a car but gas is expensive, cars are overrated anyways he only uses his car for his videos, he doesn't want his viewers to think he can't afford gas) he took in a deep breath of the polluted air around him. 

It was disgusting.

But luxury was more important.

Baekhyun then felt a shy tap on his shoulders. He took his overpriced headphones off (ah, yes I didn't mention that he took them it was last minute choice for both me and Baekhyun) and smiled.

It was a fan. (no not a  _fan_ fan, like not the one that blows wind but like a viewer, I don't know why I needed to clear that up but I felt like I needed too) 

 "B-baekhyun oppa is that really you?" She asked her round glasses falling down onto her flushed cheeks.

"Yes that's me! And you are?" The blonde asked with the brightest smile he could offer.

"I'm Heejin! I'm your biggest fan really!" Heejin apparently transformed into a whole other person the shy girl that was un front of him is now an overly excited teenage girl.

Baekhyun chuckled albeit a little darkly. They always say that yet they cant even say his favorite color.

He put all of that aside right now and just hugged the girl instead.

++

 After that encounter he scurried towards the café as fast as he could so he wouldnt be recognized anymore. He wanted privacy (oh baekhyun you post your life on the internet privacy doesn't exist anymore and you'll see why you ignorant boy)

A few minutes later and he was walking in the cafe the warm air around him made him release a sigh if relief. Seoul in winter was a real bitch sometimes.

Immediately he saw some couples cuddling on the couches and some holding hands on the dark oakwood tables. 

He scoffed, even though he really wanted a relationship like that.

"Oh hey Baekhyun!"

The blonde heard the scream from across the room and saw one of his best friends. Jongdae, shout making everyone turn to look at him. He flushed a light pink and shuffled his feet towards the counter where now two(2) if his friends stood.

He smiled and unwrapped the scarf from his neck almost instantly he felt a bag thrown at his chest.

"There's your food peasant." Kyungsoo scoffed with a bright smiled on his face.

"The peasant appreciates it," The blonde smiles back.

"Bakkie bro where have you been?! We barely see each other anymore." Jongdae looks at him with sparkles in his eyes"You know recording n shit. The usual, of course  _you_ wouldnt know." Baekhyun tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

Kyungsoo hit his throat so he didnt pull anything or else he'll probably actually die.

They all laughed and messed around all day.

To be honest this is probably the most enjoyable day he's had this month he hardly goes out anymore since it's just him and his camera.

He really needed this.

He looked around the shop and saw the couples acting so in love around him and he thought.

' _Why cant I have that?'_ ~~~~

Then as if fate ("fate") was pulling another mira ~~cle~~ his phone buzzed.

**Unknown Number**

_Hello?_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its short ny head is staring to hurt


End file.
